Sunday, March 29, 2009

An oval tunnel

A friend in La Paz, Baja California, Mexico has a business and he needs tools.
Hence, a visit to the NAPA store in the USA.

A fabulous store where they have everything.

If not, it comes the next day.


But something went wrong.

Or different.
The salesman said the tools would be there as of 08.00 am next day.

But when the NAPA shop was visited to pick up the ordered tools at 10.30 am the saleswoman apologized.
The tools would be there after 03.00 pm.
A golden opportunity to spent over 4 hours at the mercy of chance.


First plan was to go to a shopping centre where is the “Paperback Shack”.

In this shop they sell second hand books and often, when in Temecula, USA, new reading material is purchased there.


Next door is a very good Japanese restaurant: run by Japanese people!

So, next a lunch outside in the sunshine was enjoyed while reading “The New York Times”.

New in this shopping centre was a place called “Sunny Foot Massage”.

Recently, a special friend reported she had a fabulous massage, so why only she?

However, these parlours offering massages in the USA are well known for semi-prostitution.
Men go there to have a “massage” but in fact it is the “hand job” that they want.

The management of this blog doesn’t know how well informed most fervent and loyal readers are concerning these issues.
Do they know what is a “hand job”?


For those of us who do not know immediately what is a “hand job” the management of this blog has asked the professor in sexology Dr. Manuel Contristo to enlighten us.

Dr. Manuel Contristo explains:

“A hand job is a woman jerking off a man”.


There is even a procedure to come to this activity when a man visits a place that looks like a decent massage centre.

Like “Sunny Foot Massage”.

Saying they do Men AND Women.

And Foot Massages.

Activities far away from what our friend Dr. Contristo explained.


The man visiting the US massage parlour books a one-hour body massage and a woman does the job.

And when finally the last 15 minutes have been reached, she asks:
“Do you want the last 15 minutes a happy ending?”
In case the man says yes she replies:
“That’s $ 50 extra then.”
And she starts massaging where it is prostitution.

This is illegal in California, USA and many massage shops have been closed by the police for this reason.
But men have their desires and loneliness and the masseuses have their financial ambitions.

Therefore, when a man walks into “Sunny Foot Massage” questions are in the minds of all involved.
The man asks himself: is this a place where they practice happy endings?
The masseuses think: is this man expecting to get a happy ending?


This issue cannot be openly propagated or discussed in the parlour.

They can’t put a sign on the wall saying:
“Happy endings available”.
The police would shut down the parlour right away.
The man on the other hand can’t ask for it as he may be arrested for soliciting prostitution.

Many fervent and loyal blog readers understand now that to walk into a massage parlour in California, USA makes the head spin.

A most beautiful Chinese woman was behind the reception desk and explained that indeed, a massage was available right away.

She brought the customer to a dark room in the back of the parlour.

Out of earshot of the other people present she asked:
“Do you want a man or a woman to massage you?”

Now, what does that mean?
Many speculations result from such a question.

But the attitude is: stay always on your own line, man!

Hence, the reply was that it didn’t matter.

Realizing that in case that the secret language was spoken, she would understand now that the customer was not a happy ending one.

Not by a girl.

And not by a man.


Next issue was how to prepare for the massage.
In Europe most people undress completely.

But probably in prudish USA most people keep on the underwear.

Again, the decision was to stay on the own line and off went all the clothes.


Laying on the table, decent thanks to a strategically placed towel, the thought penetrated the mind if now a man would show up to do the job or a woman.

Would that matter?

Actually, yes.

From a woman a more tender and loving treatment may be expected and that is of course what this body wishes.

The door opened and the head was forced to stay down not to immediately reveal the curiosity about the gender of the employee.

Pretending it didn’t matter.


It was a man.
Well, all right.


He was the worst masseur ever.

Rough, ungentle, unloving, unsystematic and unskilled.

An oriental person, like all the employees in “Sunny Foot Massage”.

Not speaking English.


It was the first time that it was experienced that when he massaged the neck muscles, his elbow was banging the head.

It was like a bulldozer rattling over the back.


At one point during the session, the sadistic masseur spoke and said:
“Tunnel oval”.
And he left the dark room.

Laying there it was contemplated what “Tunnel oval” actually means?

Is that Chinese for:
“Sorry, I need to go to the bathroom?” or “I give up?”

After a short while he returned and started to repeatedly say:
“Tunnel oval”

“Tunnel oval”

“Tunnel oval”


When looking up the guy was standing there with a sheet in his widespread arms holding it in front of him like a screen.

So he could not see his victim.

At that moment, as a revelation, it was understood what “Tunnel oval” means.

It means: “TURN OVER”.


Being naked he didn’t want to embarrass seeing punishable nudity and had left the room for the person to turn over unobserved.

Usually after a good massage a person feels like reborn.

Twenty-five years younger if over fifty.

Full of energy and vitality.

And a restored inner balance that lasts at least a day.

“Sunny Foot Massage” was left $ 50 lighter and black and blue.
Feeling hardly any age difference.

Nevertheless, there was a good feeling and inner balance.

Because it was realized material had been acquired for another fascinating posting on this blog.


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Many thanks to Dr. Manuel Contristo.






.


.

3 comments:

Ken Norton - Image 66 Media said...

Tears of laughter!!!!

Anonymous said...

you should have straight away asked for a woman...even if you didnt want a 'happy ending'. also, if you need the world's best massage go to a genuine kerala ayurvedic massage centre and you will return 50 years younger. we do it all the time in india. you are well oiled with herbs and scientifically massaged. next time you are in india, we fix an appointment for you pal. will only cost you 10 dollars!!
---Raj

Anonymous said...

In my younger years I would get two girls and a bath first, scrubbed head to toe and then a great massage by two beautiful oriental ladies. Talk about being spoiled and feeling relaxed afterwards, the place I visited the "Happy ending" was included in the price.
They would approach the issue by asking if you wanted "baby oil" after they had you "Tunnel Oval"
The massages were some of my best youthful memories, I think it should be controlled and legal in this country.
Robert