Monday, April 20, 2009

A fool on the dance floor

Sometimes things happen and the event is so absurd, spectacular, fascinating, embarrassing, surprising, idiotic and surrealistic that it is hardly possible to comprise it in a posting.

This can be said of what happened yesterday in the “Buzniz Klub” of Nowy Sacz in Poland.
Cousin Jerzek had announced we were all to go to a “show” that was taking place in the club.

What could a show be in a business club?
The fantasy filled this question in by already seeing beautiful singers and dancers.
Maybe a magician and some strippers would be included in the program as well?

But once arrived in the club it turned out it was a sales party of the Japanese company Nikken.
Organised by two women from Israƫl who had as a local representative the beautiful Anna Wacura.

At this point in the writing of the posting it is not sure yet if it will be about Nikken or about Anna Wacura.
Both deserve to be presented extensively in a posting to the fervent and loyal blog readers.

Let’s eliminate Nikken because maybe already many fervent and loyal blog readers know this company is a scam.
They sell so called health products based on the effects of magnetism.
With a pyramid system.
One must be really dumb to spend money on their stuff.
And even dumber are the people who believe they can become rich joining Nikken as a salesperson.
It is the perfect way to have persons in the pyramid higher up make money.
While the salesperson loses most of the friends in the process.

Anna Wacura is an aspiring singer.
But at 27 her career has not taken off really.
This is why she has turned to Nikken.
To try to make a living.

The “show” consisted of sales talks by Nikken fanatics to the people who had been so stupid to come.
But as a bonus Anna Wacura sang for everybody together with her sister Ewa.
And no doubts that Anna can sing.
She has a wonderful voice.
And on top, she has a strong and delicious stage presence.
One is surprised she is not on Polish TV yet.

But then it must be difficult, or hardly possible, to make a national or international singing career when based in the small southern town of Nowy Sacz in Poland.

As of December though she has a manager who claims to know Mick Jagger personally and says he is also the manager of Candy Dulfer, the famous saxophone player.
Sure, sure, a more experienced person will say and stop short of asking why he is in a god forlorn place like Nowy Sacz assisting in a Nikken sales party if he is so well connected?

When the presentation of the Nikken products and the impressive singing was over, the two sisters decided to sit down with the audience.
And, surprise, surprise, of all the tables with men and women, they decided to sit down with cousin Jerzek, his beautiful wife Irena, two business friends and the cousin from Mexico.

Hence, eye to eye with two impressive Polish beauty queens with golden throats.
And they learned from cousin Jerzek, who turned out to be their long time friend, that the Mexican visitor was a famous photographer.
So, Anna wanted to know from the sudden celebrity what was his opinion about her performance.

What to say, fervent and loyal blog readers?
That Nikken is a scam and that she better should not be involved with those crooks?
That her manager might have with her a good fuck but that he is a liar as well?

Obviously Anna is an ambitious girl with a huge potential.
Very talented.
But it all depends of the context she is in.
If she is in the right place, with the right people honestly assisting her, and this in the right time, a star is born.
She could be the Barbara Streisand of this century.

Hence, in the most diplomatic terms and staying as close to sincerity as possible, she was told of all the wonderful aspects of her performance that were observed.

As it was a melee of many people in the “Buzniz Klub” of Nowy Sacz in Poland, singer Anna Wacura would not stay at the table constantly.
Often she would have to go away but she would always come back to the side of the pioneering photographer.
Who had said such interesting things about her performance.
At whose table the mood was getting incredibly high due to the bottles of vodka that were consumed by cousin Jerzek and his friends.

More and more people were leaving the “Buzniz Klub” of Nowy Sacz in Poland and it was then remarked that Anna Wacura often disappeared into the kitchen of the joint.
As a salesperson for Nikken she had to pretend to have a healthy life and presence and could drink only magnetised water from special Nikken bottles in which is a magnetising filter.

Later it became clear what the frequent visits to the kitchen were all about.
This was revealed by cousin Jerzek who confessed he paid her glasses of red wine she was secretly consuming in between the pots and pans.

So Anna Wacura got in this special mood we all love so much.
Funny, free and fine.
To forget about reputation, Nikken, the manager and have fun!

Then Janusz, cousin Jerzek’s buddy, screamed:

"Let’s dance".

Immediately the dance floor of the “Buzniz Klub” of Nowy Sacz in Poland was filled with the last of the few people still present.

But then a dramatic incident took place.
Everybody was elegantly swinging and rocking when Anna Wacura suddenly went to the dancing permanent pilgrim, grabbed him and pulled him to the centre of the dance floor right in between all the dancers.
She screamed:

"Let’s teach him some real Polish dancing!"

And she pushed her body against him as if they were lovers and made one of her legs step in between the photographer’s foundation.
Who absolutely panicked.
He freed himself of the over delicious but threatening embracing of the attractive singer and screamed:

“I am a free man and I would like to remain free!”.

What kind of neurotic behaviour was that?
What kind of obsession with personal freedom expressed unnecessarily?
Why fearing marriage and alimony already when only being grabbed by a beautiful lady on the dance floor for some sensual movements?
Come on, virginity was lost some time ago, no?

Miraculously, and this must have been absolutely the interference of God, suddenly, that very moment, the music stopped.
Some technical problem.
And this made all the dancers stand there like idiots.
Some still moving while no more rhythm was there to dictate and explain the swinging hips.

Soon after this dramatic event on the dance floor, the whole Nikken party left.
While cousin Jerzek ordered another bottle of Finlandia vodka.

By then Anna Wacura was really drunk.
And now she wanted pictures of herself with the international traveller.
She borrowed a small digital camera of one of the Nikken ladies who looked exactly like Scarlett Johansson.
After some friends had the beautiful couple photographed, in romantic poses, the camera was confiscated by the photographer himself.
Who knows the technique of self-portraits that may or may not include another person.
Just by stretching the long arm holding the camera in front.
It resulted in some spectacular shots but they are unfortunately in Scarlett Johansson’s camera.

Meanwhile the Nikken party, including the two Israeli women, were waiting downstairs in a taxi for Anna Wacura to come.
But she had no appetite to go.
She had too much fun.
Scarlett Johansson tried everything to make her come along.
But drunken people sometimes become obnoxious and the truth is of course that cousin Jerzek and his party didn’t want Anna to go either.

Seeing the impossibility and the ridicule of the situation, as a true gentleman and not being drunk, the pioneering photographer informed Scarlett that he would help her get Anna downstairs and into the taxi.
In the end, his credit with the beautiful singer had reached the level of the husband who is behind his wife no matter what.
So she listened to his sweet words.
And came along.

But it is no good idea to go down on stairs when wearing very high-heeled shoes in a state of serious drunkenness.
In so far as there had not been enough carnal caprioles between the two already, to assist her on the stairs involved holding her almost anywhere.
There was no other option.
Either it was holding her intimately or having her fall down the stairs.
What can a man do, dear fervent and loyal blog readers?
What would Baden Powell have recommended?
Exactly: prevent her from landing in hospital.
Hence, this advice from the founder of the Scouts was followed to precision.

In front of the building was a taxi waiting with the Nikken crew.
They were not happy.
Their local salesperson Anna Wacura, called the “wellness consultant”, had not been demonstrating exactly wellbeing in a way Nikken likes to promote.
But what a fun we had had and how well we beings were.
And how pissed off the Nikken’s were: needing a lot of magnetic healing to recuperate.

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To learn more about Nikken, click on:
http://home.online.no/~warnckew/writings/english/nikken/





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5 comments:

Fred Wishnie said...

I'm sure most loyal and fervent blog readers are wondering why the world famous photographer didn't include at least one picture of the beautiful women. Photographers communicate with pictures, after all!
Good read though,
Fred

Michel Szulc Krzyzanowski said...

It is explained in the posting that the pictures were taken with the camera of Scarlett Johansson. Today a message was send to Anna Wacura if she could arrange that some of those pictures will be send to the pioneering photographer.
Who will share them with the fervent and loyal blog readers who are generously donating.

Dawn Pier said...

That's EXTORTION Michel!! Bad bad bad boy...and I mean that in so many ways. ;-) ha ha ha...a very fun posting.

Fred Wishnie said...

My donation will be in the mail, just as soon as I get back from MY trip to Europe - Oh sorry, I forgot, I can't afford to go to Europe. ;-)

Anonymous said...

Extortion? Him being a bad, bad boy? Every day we read the blog. And are entertained tremendously. For free. And when we want something extra on top of that, we complain that he is a bad boy? Come on!!!

Karin Schnell